You know how bitchy fags can be

Sometimes I really hate gay people. As most of you probably know, DC secured the imminent move of the Montreal Expos by promising to build them a brand-new stadium on the Anacostia River, even though RFK Stadium is perfectly good enough, and in fact is surrounded by shoddy housing and crumbling school buildings that would be much better served by the millions of dollars that will be spent to build a new stadium.

The problem? “Leaders of the gay community” are upset that the new stadium will displace a strip mall filled with gay strip clubs and x-rated movie theaters.

First problem…there is no “gay community”. Gay people exist in every culture, every socio-economic strata, everywhere in the world. To imply that there is a unified “gay community”, well-organized enough to have “leaders”, does nothing but give credence to the fundamentalist nonsense that we’re hell-bent on overturning society and recruiting young people to our “lifestyle”.

Second problem….IT’S STRIP CLUBS AND ADULT THEATERS, IN THE MIDDLE OF A SLUM. If THIS is the best the “gay community” can produce as the self-described “homosexual entertainment district”, I think we need a new press agent.

Big Sister Bamm-Bamm called last night to tell us to be sure and watch Boston Legal, which we watched in the comfort of our just-completed Neo-Persian Market decorated bedroom, and we liked it. (Well, I liked it…Jet fell asleep). As many of you know, I am a longtime fan of William Shatner’s, and will likely watch anything he is in, even if it’s crap, which it often is. Many of you will recall that I wrote a letter to Bill when I was a pre-teen, asking why he had chest hair on TJ Hooker and not on Star Trek – and received a reply. A class act, that Shatner. Anyway, I may just have to start watching it on a regular basis – besides Shat, there’s a hot guy, a British woman, and James Spader, who says the sorts of things I think I’d like to say, if I could think quicker on my feet. Plus fellow Star Trek alum Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Guest-film fixture John Michael Higgins, and Sharon Lawrence. And you know how I love character actors!

Speaking of character actors, Little Sister Bamm-Bamm just spoke with Cynthia Rhodes, wife of songwriter-musician Richard Marx, and co-star of the only film I’ve seven times in the theater, Dirty Dancing. We then spent gleeful moments emailing back-and-forth about our favorite Richard Marx/Cynthia Rhodes memories, like when Jet and I sang “Right Here Waiting For You” in the Daytona Beach Community College Show Choir, and used sign language for choreography, or when I saw Richard Marx in concert at Muskingum College, and his bassist was the guy that played Jason on The Waltons, or when a close associate of Little Sister’s had to miss a Richard Marx concert to get her appendix out. Ah, memories. I myself have been recently obsessed with finding a “Best Of Animotion” cd, the mid-80’s band that was fronted, briefly, by Cynthia Rhodes. I of course cannot divulge Little Sister’s place of employ, but I WILL tell you that the Marx’s are headed for 5 days of train travel in Italy, Austria, Switzerland and Germany. Be on the lookout!

After DAYS of anticipation, I finally got my hands on the Star Wars trilogy DVDs. I pulled the old bait-and-switch on Jet while we were shopping for house wares at Target. I pretend I want to buy something horrible, like Knight Rider Season One, and when it turns out I REALLY want something not-so-horrible, like Star Wars, I can usually get away with it. You know, sort of like, “Hey folks, I’m dying of cancer. Just kidding, I don’t really have cancer, I’m just gay”. Works every time.

I’ve only watched Episode IV, A New Hope, so far. There seems to be quite a hubbub about all the changes George Lucas continues to make to these films. Frankly, I’m less concerned with him changing these films than I am with him making prequels that have, so far, SUCKED, but there you go. Most of the changes seem to involve cluttering up the background with CGI creatures doing slapstick visual humor that went out of style about the time of the advent of sound.

Another revelation: despite being in many of my favorite films, Harrison Ford is a TERRIBLE actor. Guess you CAN succeed on looks after all.

In other DVD news, I want you all to be on the lookout next week for a wholly unexpected DVD release, two volumes of ABC After School Specials from the glorious 1970’s, starring the likes of Eve Plumb, Kristy McNichol, and Melissa Sue Anderson. Unforgettable classics like Sara’s Summer of the Swans, Beat the Turtle Dream, Dear Lovey Heart, Francesca Baby, and more! For those of you too young to remember, I can’t emphasize enough the part these short films played in making sure we all stayed on the straight and narrow. The best part? The DVD’s come packed in facsimiles of the most important school-supply innovation since the slide rule, the Trapper Keeper. Get buying!