Coronation Day....

…and the town is abuzz with Inaugural activities for Emperor Shrub. I myself will take part tomorrow, when I sing at Dubya’s Prayer Service at the National Cathedral. A solo. Written just for me. But I’m not bragging. Upstaging me on the marquee will be peg-leg Irish tenor Ronan Tynan, who butchered Ave Maria so badly at Reagan’s funeral, I guess they decided to give him a chance to redeem himself. And, lest I appear on television, rest assured I have grown a bit of a beard so as not to receive any long distance complaints (you KNOW who you are).

I WAS sorry to miss Jenna and Barbara’s “Youth Concert” the other night, if only to hear the gasps of horror when a musician inadvertently uttered the “f” word for the audience. That would have been the ONLY event of interest, apparently, as the following account relates (emphases mine - the image of Stephen Baldwin makes me especially giddy):

While the message was positive, the concert's cool quotient was in question. "I guess it would be a cool concert if you're a 17-year-old girl," said Roy Trakin, senior editor of Hits magazine. Not really, said Millicent Bolin, 17-year-old from New Orleans. Many in the audience were on school trips, and some weren't thrilled that the concert was on their itinerary. "We had to come," Millicent said. "I don't like these people ... they're too fake and mainstream." If the concert fell short on the hip scale, it wasn't for lack of trying. Stephen Baldwin took the stage on a skateboard. "Are you guys rockin' or what?" he enthused. While the star power was only so-so, according to Trakin, he gave the Republicans credit for persuading a half-dozen acts to perform. "It's not all country and polka," he noted. Still, the GOP line-up didn't compare to the Democrats' star-studded concerts last fall that featured Bruce Springsteen, the Dave Matthews Band, R.E.M. and other heavy hitters, Trakin said. "All the action is still on the Democrats' side," he said. "Bill Clinton had Fleetwood Mac ... George Bush has Hilary Duff."

Of course, I'm astonished that any activities could proceed as planned, being that we've had AN INCH of snow, throwing the city into chaos. Tuesday, BEFORE the snow came, several school systems closed anyway...because it was COLD. I'm not kidding. Rather than wake up a few maintenance men to go down to the bus yard and warm up the fleet, they cancelled school for 200,000 children in a week where they had already had a holiday.

When I was a lad, during the blizzrd of 78, there was two feet of snow and the school building was without heat for two weeks, and we STILL had to go in to school for half-days, bundled up in our woollens and caps. And the other half of the day we had to go to the public library and do our homework. Kids today, sheesh.

A moment of silence, please, for Ruth Warrick, claimed this week by pneumonia. She is, of course, the creator and 35-year portrayer of the second-greatest female soap opera role ever, Pheobe English Tyler Wallingford Matthews Wallingford (number 1 is Erica Kane, number 3 is Dorian Lord). She also appears in a host of old-timety movies, such as Citizen Kane and the never-to-be-seen-again Song of the South (though my sources tell me Disney is itching to get it out on DVD, if they can just find a black actor with enough cache in the black community to support it. Wayne Brady volunteered, but he’s not black enough, apparently. I, of course, have a bootleg copy of my own.)

And finally today, the mystery of why I like caveman movies has finally been solved.

Back tomorrow or the next days with my full prayer meetin’ report!